Nightmares are a common part of life at any age. When it comes to kids, it’s been reported that 24% of 2- to 6-year-olds and 41% of 6- to 10-year-olds struggle with nightmares. They tend to lessen after adolescence due to the ability to conquer fears that develops over time. Don’t worry you don’t have to wait for them to hit adulthood to get some decent shuteye. There are ways to help your child cope with nightmares now.
The first thing you should do is offer comfort, physically and verbally. Hug them while reassuring them it was all just a dream and that they are safe in bed. You could even explain that dreams are just little movies that play in their head; sometimes they get scary or confusing but are not real.
If your child identifies the “villain” upon awakening, to be something in the closet or under the bed it is a good idea to show them there is nothing there to be afraid of. Do not, however, turn their fears into a game. Going on “hunts” or giving them a flashlight and telling them it’s an “anti-monster laser” is only giving validity to their fear that the monster exists in the first place.
If you’ve found gamification is a great approach with your child, consider something that will distract them like “I Spy”. It’ll keep them in bed, reacquaint them with their surroundings, and help them reach a relaxed state. If they begin to dread bedtime, consider getting a sleep app that rewards them, like the upcoming mobile app Pokémon Sleep.
Coaxing them to discuss the details of their dream right away is also not advised. This only breathes new life into those images, making the child relive it. This could make getting your child back to sleep even more difficult and they may even experience another dream just like it once they do doze off. It’s better, after calming your child, to change the subject entirely. Tell them they can have a super special breakfast in the morning, or plan a special activity to do after they’ve had a good night’s sleep.
Revisit The Topic The Next Day
The time to discuss and analyze your child’s nightmares is during the day, especially if you’re dealing with recurring nightmares. Ask your child what their nightmare was about and really listen to them. While in the safety of the sunlight, try to identify what the actual fear is; get to the root of the issue.
Nightmares usually stem from current fears or concerns in waking lives. If your child keeps having the same dream, or variations with the same underlying theme, take a look at the symbolism and try to decipher the cause. There are a myriad of possible stressors that could contribute to recurring nightmares: Divorce, relocation of home or school, a traumatic experience, anything that could shake your child’s feeling of security.
There are also real medical conditions that can cause sleep disturbances so if the situation continues or worsens, mention it to your family doctor. In some cases, an evaluation with a Child Psychologist may be needed. They can assess the situation, determine the root cause, and figure out the best course of action.
Create A Bedtime Ritual
The comfort of a bedtime ritual works wonders when it comes to instilling a sense of stability. It could start with a relaxing bath then move into story time, maybe a soothing song or two. If your child has a security object like a blanket or stuffed toy, make sure they have it in bed with them. Leave them with a nightlight on and maybe leave the door open if they prefer.
You Can Use Tangible Items to Help Ease Anxiety
There are a couple of fun things you can try to ease your child’s mind at bedtime. Give them a set of worry dolls. Your child whispers their worries to these miniature dolls, places them under their pillow and the dolls take the worries away. This is great because it gives your child the opportunity to voice their fears with the intent of giving them away to the worry dolls. They are deliberately releasing negative thoughts and the dolls serve as a focus tool. This could apply to any item really, if you can’t find or make worry dolls, pick up a little gnome or whimsical frog – something with that added “magic” feeling.
Another trick is a dreamcatcher. You could use this as a bonding activity and make your own dreamcatcher together. Explain to your child that a dreamcatcher only lets good dreams through its center, the bad ones get tangled up in the webbing. This helps ease their anxiety levels before going to sleep, which in turn, decreases the likelihood of troubled sleep in the first place.
As you can see, bedtime doesn’t have to be dreaded. With a little comfort and structure it could not only be the smoothest running portion of your day and an amazing way of bonding with your child.
Use this as an opportunity to institute a pattern of behavior in your child; one that first identifies the root of a fear and then releases it. As these early childhood fears begin to fade, they will feel stronger and more confident when facing other challenges in life.
